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Categories: Questions

Subject: Opening a business in Chicago

Message:
Hello: I'm very interested in opening a business in your beautiful city and have a couple of questions and requests.

If it's not too much trouble, could you please send me the official list of political and social opinions that I must hold in order to open a business in Chicago.

It's recently become clear that merely expressing an "incorrect" opinion could lead to me being barred from doing business there...or at least having to fight Mayor Emanuel’s disapproval every step of the way. It's hard enough to start a business and create jobs without that kind of resistance!

I'm sure you understand. I would just try to guess which opinions the government requires that I hold, but in a recent case, you folks made clear that an opinion held by half of Americans was completely unacceptable. Guessing which other opinions the government doesn't permit would be tough! In the case I alluded to (involving the folks from Chick-fil-A) the "illegal" opinion was the same one held by the President of the United States until very recently.

Perhaps you could put out a "government-approved beliefs" newsletter on a regular basis so no one engaged in unacceptable speech or thought. Those who repeatedly expressed views contrary to the government could be given special training and re-education so that they wouldn't make silly mistakes anymore!

Again, thanks for your assistance. I look forward to being in compliance with all acceptable beliefs so that I will be permitted to earn a living.

Regards,
Joe Getty

CONTACT INFORMATION

Name: Joe Getty

Email Address: armstrongandgetty@yahoo.com

Organization: American Citizen

Today's Date: 07/26/2012